Thyroid dysfunction causing the depression?!

I was reading some posts in a forum which is supposed to provide further help for depressed people. Reading the story of someone, who had a simple thyroid dysfunction which was never diagnosed made me think about that.

And so I ended up doing some research hanging in front of my laptop tired as fuck and feeling like a zombie. I could not believe what I found, because it was a possible disease that causes the depression besides my tough childhood.

I checked the following symptoms that come as potential symptoms for a hyperthyreosis:

- Loss of weight (No chance to gain any weight through eating a lot or/and training)
- nervousness
- diarrhea (similar symptoms like irritable colon)
- difficulty in concentration
- tiredness (also after long hours of sleep [10 or more])
- insomnia (sometimes problems to fall asleep)
- shaking (sometimes I can't execute a accurate movement with my hands)
- mood changes
- helplessness (feeling like I am lost)
- muscle weakness (I feel very weak, but fortunately I have no muscle pains)
- eyestrain (feels tired, burning and itching)


I am male 22 years old and I have family members with thyroid disfunctions (mother, aunt, grandmother). When I started the treatment (which I canceled) in Germany there was no checkup of my organs to ensure it is not caused by something physical.

On the last Thursday I had a appointment with a family doctor, where my blood was tested. I had the results very fast on the next Monday (surprisingly). 

Looking up this strange unknown abbreviations for blood values I found out that ATL a liver enzyme is out of the range, but talking with the assistant I was told that I might have problems with my kidneys. Now I need to wait 3 months to take another blood test.

Time passes, but at least I was able to take action...

Another Downfall.....

My life is a constant struggle and I am about to lose it.............

Yes I thought I made some progress the other days, but yesterday I experienced another downfall again :( The worst thing about it is that I actually can't explain what the reason or cause is.

I feel overwhelmed because of too many tasks, assignments and things I really want to do, but I always fail - mostly because I have no energy to pursue it until I succeed. My head is a complete clusterfuck with too many thoughts and worries on my mind, which prevent me from staying focused.

I guess I am somehow floating through this life - no seriously I think life passes me. I always have to remember the lyrics "...everybody dies but not everybody lives" of "Moments 4 Life" from Nicki Minaj feat. Drake. How true this line is and it really applies on me.

Progress Update

Today is Friday and I want to share a short progress update on my journey on how to get rid of the depression. I had no real bad day and felt better the whole week since years. Maybe it is, because I follow my short-term plans exactly how I described it or just the fact that I started to express my feelings and talk about my problems even if it is just for a very small audience or myself :-P

I am listing to a lot of good mood music the last days (mostly German music) and I also like to watch some inspirational, uplifting and motivational speeches like the one with Eric Thomas (The Hip Hop Preacher) featuring the athlete Giavanni Ruffin from Takenodaysoff. Feel free to post some more music and motivational speeches in the comments ;-)

How Bad do you Want it? Yes, I want it really really really bad!!!

Short-term plan to get rid of depressions

Since I relocated from Germany to the United States it is difficult for me, because I don't know the city very well and the college I attend is a community college with more people who could be my parents instead of potential friends to hang out with. Also the college has literally no activities or a big amount of clubs to offer. The only club I attend is the international club, all other clubs are boring to me.

With this post I want to set up my short term plan on how to get rid of depressions. I know I will need professional treatment to overcome the underlying causes of my depressions, but this should keep me on distance with the dramatic lows of my mood.

The best way is to socialize and build up a strong social network that support me, or at least that is the recommended solution #1 searching the internet for help. Furthermore it is probably the cheapest way of self-help.

1. Attend clubs

As I mentioned before I already attend the international club on my college. I tried to find out if there are any public clubs or branches of  Associations I could attend, but could not find anything besides night and strip clubs. Anyone some hints for me or a link where I can find something nationwide?

In addition I also tried to get in touch with the students who are learning German, but unfortunately they have no classes on campus, just online classes :( I gave my contact details to the instructor with the notice, that any student can contact me if he wants to talk German. No response on my offer.  

I also thought about contacting the local Rotary Club in my city, but I am still not sure what the Rotary Club is about. Maybe I can volunteer with them. Would be happy if someone can provide assistance on that.


2. Attend Meetups

I am registered on meetup.com but I was still not encouraged to join a local meetup with like minded people. I try to find a upcoming event that fits.

Also tried to find some conferences on eventful.com without success, maybe useful for someone else.


One post from Lifehack that gave me some inspiration and has some more tips:
Get Out More: 6 Ways to Be More Social

Get rid of the depression

This is supposed to be my very first post about my new adventure or journey. I will add more about the site in the description later.

 Most people who might get to see this blog are probably looking for ways to beat a depression. I had the idea for this blog yesterday, exactly two days before my 22 birthday. I want to use this blog as a diary to document how I try to get rid of the depression and to encourage myself to follow my goal. I think I should tell you something about my person. I will (celebrate) my 22. birthday on Monday. Not sure yet if I can enjoy it. I never told someone about my depressions, although it started very early if I can recall it correctly.

One major cause for getting off the track of life was the suicide of my father when I was 7 years old, which still causes occasionally nightmares and anxiety attacks. My mother was during my childhood several times in a special hospital for depression treatment and was unable to raise me and my brother. I was mostly raised and educated by my aunt. I was forced to leave my parental home with the age of 18 and had to live with my grandmother also the relationship with my mother broke up and I had to file a lawsuit to save my legal portion of the legacy of my dad.

I thing that was probably too much off-topic. The depression has an increasing impact on my life. I always had trust problems towards foreigners and people, because I experienced a lot of fake friends that took advantage on my good nature. My whole personality converted to a complete introvert person and I had to attend a special elementary school, which provided smaller classes and better care for students. I lost a lot of interest in hobbies and I have big problems to stay in contact and keep friends. Without any intention I am sometimes too tired to get active and call or message people. My mood is mostly bad, that means the times I feel really good stay away. Furthermore I have problems with the concentration, I have sometimes strong headaches, I feel most of the time very tired. Before I forget to mention it: I had suicidal thoughts, but never real plans to commit suicide. That is maybe my luck, that I have no courage to do something like that. When I had thoughts it was more the wish it could happen with an accident.

I lost about 15 years of my life and I pray (I am usually non-religious) that this attempt to start living life will succeed. I am sick of being a fuck-up and want to change this miserable situation to the better.

That should be enough for the first post. With the next post I want to set up a plan or ideas how to achieve my goal.

And sorry for the bad English, but I am obviously not a native speaker ;-)